BLOGS

Read the instructions first..?

So, a few things you need to know about me:

  1. I am a trained chef,
  2. I am an experienced camper,
  3. I tend to have a fairly “what's the worst that could happen” attitude to stuff,
  4. I have a mild case of OCD,
  5. I never read instructions.

Well, I mean who does? It's an affront on the masculine engineer to tell me how to do something? I mean, seriously, I can work this shit out for myself. Except, sometimes I clearly can't.

So the purpose of our last outing was to field test some equipment, and field test a location we want to use for future men's adventures [link here to adventures page].  I am the camp cook, obviously, and also somewhat skilled with cooking devices, and mechanics in general. I tend to be able to work things out on the fly (see my video on the rather cool multi-fuel cooker), but then something simple throws me a Googly, and I completely lose my ability to do the most basic things.

Case in point with the spirit burner in my solo camp stove.  It's a spirit burner, not petrol.  Spirit is a very much lighter oil, shorter hydrocarbons and much cooler flame.  Petrol is much more oily, generates a lot more heat when burnt, and should therefore not be used in a spirit burner, whose purpose is to vaporise the fuel prior to it being ignited to generate more heat. Petrol is quite capable of vaporising itself thank-you, without needing pre-heating (except in a controlled environment where it is designed to be pre-heated, like a Primus stove). The result is something reminiscent of the Iraqi oil fields post Gulf War, and the campsite was momentarily similar to that scene out of ‘Jarhead’.

The problem was, because of my gung-ho attitude, and lack of preparation (we were all hungry and wanted to get on) I didn't plan, prepare or think the process through.  Result was a slightly out- of-control fire, badly cooked sausages, a burnt Billy-tin, and a serious dent to my confidence.  But why the sudden loss of control of an otherwise simple situation? Because of my lack of preparation i’d put myself into a dangerousposition, and I'd lost control.  And realising this, the whole thing unfolded on me and I got pissed off with myself, and that's when I ruined breakfast.

Preparation is key

So, what should I have done? Well put simply I should have stopped and considered things for a few moments, and got things preparedness the worst case.  From the picture above you will see a number of things that are clearly wrong.  I'm sure you've spotted them all…

  • Kneeling down in front of a fire: never kneel in front of a fire, if you need to get away in a hurry, you can't because you have to stand up first.

  • Bucket of water: always have some sort of fire prevention stuff to hand.  We were packing down so things had been put away, but still not good enough.

    • Incidentally, NEVER pour water onto burning petrol, the water will evaporate and increase the ferocity of the burn.  Put burning petrol into a larger volume of water , but not the other way around. If you're going to throw water at a petrol fire, throw LOTS of it, not just a cupful.  Do some reading on how to put out fires if you plan to use it as a fuel.

  • put the lighter in your pocket when you aren't using it.  It's just more flammable stuff in the vicinity of a raging fire, isn't it? Hardly going to help the situation.

  • Try to cook at waist height – not always possible, but much more comfortable, and again, never kneeling: if you knock something hot off a stove (they are notoriously unstable) it's going to end up on you.

  • Wet cloth to hand, a brilliant fire blanket a wet tea towel makes.  Have one to hand.

  • Think before you act.  If you're using petrol, consider how dangerous it is as a fuel and how badly it can burn you and others. Keep the major source of it well away from fire, people and camping.  Go to it to get small quantities when needed.  If you're not sure what you're doing and feel like having a ‘wonder what happens’ moment, then at least prepare for the worst case scenario.

  • Finally, and possibly most obviously, don't play with petrol around a campfire.  Petrol fumes are heavy and volatile, they ‘creep’ across open ground, and can suddenly ignite trailing a pretty blue flame all the way to your fuel source, with disastrous results.  Keep lids on things, use the minimum amount of fuel, and stay away from ignition sources.

So, the moral of this story? By all means experiment – we’re men, and it's what we do – but good men prepare for the worst case scenario and have other people's safety at the front of their mind. And they don't end up buggering up breakfast because they didn't think the problem through…

Stay prepared men.